


His Smile

by orphan_account



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Depression, Drabble, M/M, Suicide Attempt, Unhappy Ending, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-10-16
Updated: 2013-10-16
Packaged: 2017-12-29 13:26:40
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 358
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1005972
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every time Zayn smiles, it kills Niall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	His Smile

Every time Zayn smiles, it kills Niall.

It kills Niall because he knows that smile is never for him, not really. Zayn could be staring right into his eyes, into his soul even, but the smile would still not belong to him. No, Zayn's smile belonged and always would belong to Liam. Niall was okay with that though, he'd accepted it - but that didn't mean that it wasn't killing him.

Nobody knows how much it hurts him and Niall thanks God that they don't. It's the last thing he wants. He knows that Zayn would never smile in front of him again out of fear that Liam could take it the wrong way. He knows that Liam would never really trust him around Zayn again, no matter how many times he would say he did. He knows that he wouldn't trust himself if his heart was on his sleeve and Zayn's smile was the only thing keeping his heart beating.

Instead, it's the thing that's slowing his heart, or at least that's how it feels for Niall.

He tells himself that he's being overdramatic, that in a few years he'll look back and laugh about this. Hell, it could even be months or simply weeks. Maybe in the morning he'll shake his head and laugh grimly about how overdramatic he was being. The problem is, it's not a few years or months or weeks later, it's not even in the morning after, it's right now and he's not sure he can make it out of this moment.

The bathwater around him is cold - it has been for a while now, too. He shivers, his skin paler than usual and his entire frame shaking. He doesn't make any movements to leave though. It's all a reminder - a cold reminder - that this is his life and he has to deal with it.

He doesn't have Zayn. Liam has Zayn. Liam has Zayn's smile.

As Niall lets his head drop under the water, all he can think about is a single question - why couldn't he have had just one of Zayn's smiles, a single smile for him and only him?

Why?

**Author's Note:**

> I had a random burst of inspiration. This was the result. Un-beta'd and a little rushed but I don't think it's too terrible. Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
